Love is supposed to be timeless, and it is usually a rude shock to find out that the once-powerful feelings of care and attraction are fading into disinterest and maybe even resentment. Luckily, the moment you realize that you are slipping, you still have a chance to save the relationship.
Even broken marriages can be saved once you rekindle love into the flame it is supposed to be. The following tips are tried-and-tested ways of restoring cold love, as recommended by relationship experts.
Get back to the basics
Going back to the basics can help get the spark back if you are looking to rekindle love in a long-term relationship. To begin with, visit the place where you got engaged or married. The emotional attachment can help renew strong feelings of love.
If that sounds like jump-starting a relationship, yes, it is. Remaining in love with the same person for decades is almost impossible without a little help, so don’t be afraid to enlist some emotional kick-starters. Others include a favorite fragrance, a favorite film, among many others.
Say thank you
These two words are peddled as a magical cure-all. Don’t underestimate them; they could save your relationship. When you have spent some time together with your partner, it is easy to get critical and start to see some faults.
That is because as the novelty of the initial attraction wears off, you feel like a diver coming up for air after a deep dive. You suddenly see things that weren’t there before, and this can harbor resentment.
Instead, take a conscious step to see the positive things your partner does and say thank you, either in person or through a text. Affirmation is a powerful tool to help in how to rekindle dying love.
Take care of yourself
Remember the person you were when your lover first fell in love with you? Where is that person now? If you enjoyed a game with friends or an evening out with the girls, do you still do that? Any relationship, and marriage especially, requires that you nurture yourself as much as you give selflessly.
If you are a fitness buff, find time to hit the gym. Meditate or go fishing, if that’s your thing. Grow your career or invest in that hobby because your individuality is essential to the connection you share. Also, remember to make yourself beautiful. Many times, the physical attraction also helps couples rekindle love.
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Innovate—put in some work
When the kids start coming, marriages get into some kind of autopilot where everything seems to take on a life of its own. Unfortunately, the moment you relinquish control is also the moment your passion gets quenched.
Put in some effort to rekindle love life with your husband or wife. Get back the passion, intimacy, and attraction you remember from the first days.
You also have to make an effort to get your sexual intimacy going. A romantic dinner date or a drink at the bar is one way to get started. Other times, carve time to get together away from the kids to keep the sensuality fresh.
If a fight or is going on between you as a couple, find an activity that will diffuse the tension and get you talking. If all else fails, do something really terrifying or exhilarating, like bungee jumping. Adrenaline is excellent at breaking the ice and getting people together so consider trying it.
Talk—the power of words
Communication will single-handedly rekindle love in a marriage if done right. Just as you get together by talking and chatting endlessly, so you should use the same channel to maintain the fire of love. Talk out any issues you are experiencing and express your concerns lovingly but clearly.
In the same way, listen to your partner. Don’t just hear them but really listen. Put yourself in their shoes, and together find an amicable solution. If push comes to shove, be prepared to make some concessions for the sake of love. Sometimes, you have to ask yourself if ten years down the line it will matter what color of sofa you bought.
Get physical—the power of touch
During the first ‘honeymoon’ days of your relationship, every touch is like a drug that makes you giddy with passion and excitement. It is indeed a drug that does this, a chemical called dopamine released in large quantities during the initial attraction to help you two bond.
When you go out hold hands to get a physical touch. When you can, get naughty without going all the way to get the tensions up. Delaying the physical rewards makes intimacy that much sweeter. Even a stolen kiss is magic to rekindle love in a relationship.
Rekindle love after an affair
It is doubly hard to rekindle love after an affair due to the lost trust. The first thing you should do is mend the rift and restore confidence. For one, cease your wayward ways and focus on loving your spouse.
Second, re-establish the emotional connection by sharing something intimate. Start a financial project together, take a vacation with the family, do a home renovation, or some other project. Most importantly, remember that you have hurt the other party and give them time to recover.
It can be even harder to rekindle love after a breakup. The pain of separation, betrayal, and thought of starting all over again puts off many people from seeking love. After the initial period of healing, do yourself a favor and let love run its course.
The way to rekindle love after divorce or breakup involves four painful but necessary steps:
- Take responsibility. You must have played a part in the failure of the relationship. Acknowledge it, change your attitude, and improve yourself.
- Have zero expectations and give the other party some space. Even when your heart tells you otherwise, let them heal and reconverge as well.
- Reach out gently and apologetically. Do what you have to do to make your intentions known, but don’t be pushy or forceful.
- As you rekindle your love, work consistently on being a better person. If they were also in the wrong, make sure that they are doing the same or it will fail again.
Your relationship, marriage, courtship, or friendship is worth saving, always. No matter the hurt and loss, you can always find a good enough reason to get back together. If that is what you really want, incorporate these tips, and they may just save you a trip to the marriage counselor or divorce court.
What do you think? Is it always worth to fight for a relationship? Please let us know in the comments; we’d love to hear from you!